Sexis Cusinart

Sonny helps Alexis get over her fear of Cusinarts


Sonny enters his kitchen leading Alexis by the hand.

Sonny: You can do this!!

Alexis: No I can't Sonny!!

Sonny: Yes you can Alexis--you must!

Alexis: Why?

Sonny: To be really competant in the kichen you HAVE to use a Cusinart.

Alexis: I don't need a Cusinart to make popcorn!!

Sonny sighs and runs his hands through his hair.

Alexis: What?

Sonny: Alexis, with a Cusinart you can chop, blend, mix, grate, shred, puree... he trails off and sighs. "You know, a woman who knows how to handle her Cusinart really turns me on."

Alexis snaps to attention: What are we waiting for?

Sonny shows his dimples and leads her to the kitchen counter where he proudly shows off his gleaming Cusinart.

Alexis: It looks like you never use it!

Sonny: No one but me cleans my Cusinart.

Alexis (to herself): I wish I was the Cusinart.

Sonny: What?

Alexis: Umm I said lets get started!!

Sonny opens his refrigerator and takes out bell peppers.

Sonny: Lets start you out slow wirh some light chopping.

Alexis: OK

Sonny cores and quarters the peppers and throws them into the Cusinart.

OK--now the trick is to put the top on like this and turn it until you hear a click. Then select a speed. I suggest you start slow. Choose chop.

Alexis puts the top on the Cusinart, pushes the button for chop and nothing happens. She fiddles with the top of the Cusinart, keeps trying to press chop and still nothing happens. She fiddles with the top again and again. Nothing happens. Suddenly, the top of the Cusinart flips off and the contents of the Cusinart spill all over the counter.

Alexis: I can't do this. I want to go home.

Sonny: We'll just try this agian.

Alexis: No Sonny, I have to leave.

Alexis runs from the kitchen into Sonny's living room. She falls down on the sofa and begins to weep. Sonny follows her out of the kitchen.

Sonny: Hey, whats the matter??

He sits beside her on the sofa.

Alexis (weeping): I'm sorry Sonny, I let you down.

Sonny: Hey its ok. Shhhh. He sits beside her on the couch and puts his arm around her. I can't have my best attorney this upset. You want to tell me about it?

Alexis sits up: Its kind of silly really

Sonny: Don't be afraid to tell me.

Alexis: Ok. It happened when I was in college. My best friend Siglinda took me home with her to visit her parents one weekend.

Sonny: Siglinda?

Alexis: She was Swedish!

Sonny: Ok, go on.

Alexis: Anyway I was spending the weekend with my best friend Siglinda at her parents. We decided to make a spinach dip for dinner. Siglinda's parents just bought this new Cusinart and she wanted to try it out. We were talking while she loaded the stuff into the Cusinart to puree for the dip. I made a joke about wanting Al Pacino to put his shoes under my bed. We had just seen "Author, Author". She bursts into tears again.

Sonny: Maybe a little music will make you feel better. He gets up and starts to look through his CDs.

Alexis: Sonny please don't.

Sonny: Why not?

Alexis: Because if I have to sit through Santana, or Jerry Vale or Ricky Martin one more time I'm going to throw up.

Sonny: I thought you liked Ricky Martin

Alexis: I loathe Ricky Martin.

Sonny: Well, what do you want to listen to?

Alexis: Got any Led Zepplin? I wouldn't mind hearing "Houses of the Holy". Or the Beatles "White Album"?

Sonny (smiling): Oh, You like to rock huh??

Alexis: Sometimes

Sonny: OK, I have the White Album. He puts the CD in the CD player. "Back in the U.S.S.R." starts to play.

Alexis: Thats better. She smiles.

Alexis: Thank you.

Sonny: No problem.

He comes back to the couch and sits beside Alexis.

Sonny: Now finish telling me your story about your friend Siglinda.

Alexis: Well, as I was saying, Siglinda was making the spinach dip and we were joking about Al Pacino and what we'd like to do with him. Siglinda was looking at me laughing and not paying attention to what she was doing. Suddenly, the top flew off the Cusinart. The force knocked out the blade and it severed her jugular vein! She died instantly. It was my fault! Don't you see? I killed her! She starts to weep again.

Sonny puts his arms around her and strokes her hair.

Sonny: Alexis, it wasn't your fault.

Alexis: yes it was!

Sonny: No, it was a freak accident. It wasn't anybody's fault!

Alexis: But what if it happens again?

Sonny: They have improved Cusinarts since then. They have better safety mechanisms.

Alexis: I can't

Sonny: Alexis, you can do this! I have faith in you. You can't let this stop you from achieving a lifetime of being competant in the kitchen.

Alexis: Sonny, I'm afraid!

Sonny puts his hand under Alexis' chin and turns her head towards him: Who's your daddy?

Alexis: You are.

Sonny: Would I ever let you get hurt?

Alexis (her voice shaky): No.

Sonny: Who's daddy's brave little girl?

Alexis squeeks: Me?

Sonny: Thats right! Now lets get back in the kitchen and try this again.

Alexis: Can't I just take the fifth?

Sonny: Nice try Counselor. But I know you can do this.

He stands up and hold his hand out to her. She takes his hand and with a deep breath she gets up off the couch.

Sonny: There's my brave girl!

Sonny leads Alexis back into the kitchen. She sits at the counter as he cleans up the chopped bell pepper that had been spilled before. He cores and quarters another one.

Sonny: OK, lets try this again.

Alexis places the quartered pepper into the Cusinart and puts the top in, turning it until she hears the click.

Sonny: Very Good. Now turn it on.

Alexis: Sonny, I'm afraid.

Sonny: I know you're afraid. Everyone is afraid of the Cusinart at first. Its power is frightening. But you can do this. I'll be here with you every step of the way! And don't forget to breath!

Alexis places her index finger on the chop button. She closes her eyes and presses down on the button. The Cusinart starts up and chops the pepper. She smiles at Sonny. He smiles back! Then she carefully watches the Cusinart.

Sonny: Don't chop too much. You want it chopped, not pureed!

Alexis chops a little bit more then turns off the Cusinart.

Alexis: Did I do ok??

Sonny: You did more then ok! You did great!! I'll make a salad and we can garnish it with your chopped bell pepper.

Alexis: Can we use the Cusinart to shred the lettuce?

Sonny: Sure!

Alexis: Oh Sonny, how can I ever thank you!! She impulsively throws her arms around Sonny's neck. Sonny stares at her and she swallows hard and blushes.

Sonny: I can think of a way.

He leans towards Alexis. She closes her eyes and the hair on the back of her neck stands up as he moves in closer. She begins to feel all tingly. He tilts her head back slightly then puts his arms around her. His lips brush hers.

Suddenly there is a commotion in the living room. They hear a female voice shriek, "Where's Sonny! I know he's with that whore attorney of his!" Johnny replies that Mr. Corinthos is busy in the kitchen. Carly throws open the door bursts into the kitchen. Alexis and Sonny jump apart!

Carly sees the used Cusinart and shrieks: Sonny how could you! You are letting Alexis use your Cusniart! You would never let me near it! She looks at Alexis and hisses: You slut!

Alexis: Of all the times for Cusinarts to have better safety mechanisms!

The end!