Alexis/Sonny/Carly Caption This

Updated with responses!
See this Carly? You open your arms like this, and then you hold them close to you. That is what's called a hug. You do this before you sleep with a man!

Alexis: And you see Micheal, thats how babies are made.

Well, see, Sonny's little mobster is THIS big, so that's why his swimmers are so damn good at gettin the ladies knocked up...tell 'em... Carly.

Alexis: "I swear to God, it's like this big!"
Carly: "Just keep rubbing it in."

Alexis: "Sonny, when are you FINALLY gonna realize that you can't turn a ho into a housewife?"
Sonny: "You know what Lex? It is about time that I realize that, Lord knows I have tried. I actually thought Carly had changed but now I see clearly that she's still the same lying manipulative hoochie mama slut puppy that she has always been. I want an order barring her from my property, I trust you'll be handling all the legal briefs, Alexis. Alexis" Honey, if you mean it about getting rid of this hag, I will be handling alot more than just your legal BRIEFS, yaknowwhatI'msayin??????????"

Alexis: Sonny, I swear to God, if the little bitch doesn't shut up I'm gonna put her head in a cusinart.

Carly (thinking):What the hell did I do to deserve having her NEAR Sonny AGAIN? Oh wait...there's the lies...the betrayal...the crazy plans...I'd better quit while I'm ahead...

For me he was this long!

Alexis (to Carly): I'll say it slowly so you can understand it. The ovary releases the egg, the egg travels through the fallopian tube, gets fertalized by the sperm, then attaches itself to the uterus lining. Thats where babies come from.
Sonny: Actually Alexis, she does better if you draw her a picture.

candy cane
Carly stares at Alexis while she explains how Sonny's one-two pump is guaranteed to get any girl pregnant or u get ur money back.

Well see, Sonny, you just hold your hands like this and put them on either side of her scrawny little neck and then you squeeze. You're the mobster you should know these things.

Sonny: Carly, I'm telling you Waldo is right there in that picture.
Carly: No he isn't, Sonny. Are you saying I'm stupid?
Alexis: Well, if I found him, and I'm NOT stupid.....

Southern Belle
Carly: Don't try to deny it Alexis. I saw you!
Alexis: I'm sorry Carly. I didn't mean to, but it was so big that I couldn't help myself. I swear it was this big.

Southern Belle
Sonny: I wonder what she looks like under those lawyer clothes? Alexis: He's looking at me. Oh God, he's looking at me! How many years will I get if I toss him against that wall and rape him? 10? 20? Oh, what the hell? I can find out firsthand if crime does pay.

Alexis: Yes, I am serious. This big.
Carly: How the hell do you know?
Sonny: What can I say? Alexis and I have taken attorney/client privilege to a whole new level.

No is *this* big!