Announcer: The sun is set. The stars shine in the sky. The night air is tinged with anticipation. And it is time to meet the Continental.
A hand reaches for the Continental's doorbell. Its Courtney. Before she can ring the bell, the door suddenly bursts opens and Liz runs out screaming. Behind her Jasper Jerx as the Continental appears. "Oh, my lovely one, I see you got my message, you have come to retrieve your shirt. Do not be alarmed. That was just my cousin going out to meet her lover. Her passion is urgent and she races to meet him. Please come in. Lay--I mean--sit down." Courtney comes in and sits down. The Continental raises a bottle of champagne. "Will you have some champaign-ya?". Courtney shakes her head no. "I knew you would". He hands her a glass.
The Continental, "You look so lovely. Like Botticelli's Venus only with the arms. Venus was the only Roman Goddess regularly depicted in the nude. Would you like to see my collection of nudes?" Courtney shakes her head. "Maybe some other time. I can see by the way your ample chest heaves as you drink your champaigne-ya that I excite you. Please remove your clothes so I can gaze upon your Venus! Courtney rushes to the door but The Continental blocks her. "Oops. I was only kidding. My little white tailed doe, I can see you are skittish, like the wild Arabian colts of the Ancient Bedouin. I love that! It excites me. Please, sit, have some more champaign-ya.
Courtney sits back down. The Continental lights a cigarette. He puffs on his cigarette lighter. The smoke permeates the air. Courtney starts to cough. "I know, smoking is bad. But we do it anyway because of the sensual feeling of sucking on a long fallic smoking object. Would you like a cigarette?" Courtney shakes her head. "My pulchritudinous pussycat, you are so blond--like a Swedish Goddess of love. Not like your bother, the scoundrel Sonny Corinthos. He is a criminal. He is dark. He gleams like a ripe, wet olive in the sun just begging be plucked. His carnal, animal passion excites me. I mean repels me. I can understand, I mean I can't understand what women see in him. He is not like me. I am gentle. I know women. I know them because I steal, I mean return their lost clothing from the laundrey room. You can tell a lot about a woman by the clothing she selects to adorn her naked body with. Here, let me read your mind. You would like to give me a Swedish Massage" Courtney shakes her head furiously. "Ha, I was only kidding. Please. Unless you really want to." Courtney runs to the door again. The Continental blocks the door, "Wait my saucy little fox. You still haven't retrieved your shirt. Please sit. Let me refresh your champaign-ya. Relax".
Courtney sits back down on the couch. The Continental reaches over to refill her glass with more champaign-ya. He "accidentally" pours it on her chest. "Opps! How clumsy of me. I accidentally spilled champaign-ya on your boobs. I can see your aroused decolatage strain against your white wet shirt in excitement. Oh Wow! Wowee, Wow, Wow! Please. You will catch cold. Remove your shirt so I can dry you off" Courtney shakes her head furiously. "You cannot leave like this. Please. He starts to wipe at her chest with his handkerchief. She fends him off.
"My little gazelle, you demonstrate such passion. I can see you love to be chased. That was a joke only. "Have you seen my pussy?" He gestures to a picture of a cat on the wall. "I got it at Target". Courtney looks at the painting then back at the Continental. He is fumbling with hand cuffs. She runs for the door. The Continental blocks the door. "Wait! I wouldn't try to hand cuff you. I was merely cleaning the hand cuffs. I work part time for the PCPD. I am to go on duty shortly. Maybe I can pick up--I mean arrest your bother. The Cuban god. Gleaming like a hard wet chestnut in the moonlight. But I still have time. Please sit. Let me vindicate myself. We will play a card game."
Courtney continues to stand as the Continental blocks the doorway. "What would you like to play? Pinochle? Hearts? Gin Rummy? Strip poker?" Courtney kicks him on the groin. The Continental bends over, "oops, that hurts. I have been kicked in the groin so many times it is like foreplay to me. I welcome the pain. It makes me hotter. Such is life. Champaign-ya? Caviar? Wait. Don't forget your shirt!" Courtney grabs the shirt and races out the door.
Announcer: Join us again next week, for another chapter in the life of.. The Continental.